Duality Of Human Mind – Living in the Gray

As children, we are taught to develop a conscience, which ultimately leads us to view things in black and white. This conscience helps us distinguish right from wrong. However, as we grow, those boundaries blur, and we find ourselves navigating various shades of gray in life.

I was raised as a Hindu, and while later learning how Shri Krishna justifies a righteous war to Arjuna in the Bhagavad Gita, my younger self struggled to adjust to this new reality. I was so entrenched in my beliefs that I couldn’t understand why Lord Krishna didn’t marry Ma Radha but instead had 100 wives. To me, that didn’t seem right. I also questioned why Lord Ram made Ma Sita undergo the Agni Pariksha (trial by fire) merely to appease society. After all, he should have trusted and accepted his wife regardless of what she endured during captivity. This innocence from my past makes me chuckle, yet it also warms my heart. But hey, everyone needs to grow up, right? Our experiences and interactions with reality open our eyes to the world of gray. Soon enough, we realize that there is a vast expanse of gray out there, and choosing sides or taking a stance may not be as straightforward.

On average, a human being juggles their actions based on what the heart desires versus what the brain dictates. For example, while growing up, we often define success by wealth, a high-profile career, property, fame, etc. We begin with the aspiration to have it all. Later, we come to understand that most victories come at a cost. Time, being our greatest commitment, often leads us to sacrifice one thing to achieve another. After all, we only have 24 hours in a day. We plan our priorities, and those choices are influenced by multiple factors, including our personal desires, our parents’ wishes, and societal expectations. For instance, you may have chosen a career based on your parents’ dreams and vision (a common path for many children in my home country). Your true desire may become a secondary career after achieving some stability or turn into a hobby you pursue in your free time. At one point, you may strive hard to reach a certain status and earn as much money as possible. Eventually, you might realize that work-life balance is crucial for a stable mind, and life is too short not to pursue what you genuinely desire. You may have once judged someone whose idea of a good time is staying in, reading a book, and taking a nap, only to find yourself becoming that very person. One thing we must avoid is staying in denial and pretending to be someone we are not.

There is a very interesting quote: “Opinion is the wilderness between knowledge and ignorance.” When someone says, “In my opinion…,” their statement is not backed by facts but rather by their thoughts at that moment. Opinions can change, whereas facts do not. In my view, three factors contribute to the success of any endeavor: Intellect, Hard Work, and Luck. The contribution of each may vary, but these three elements essentially drive a person in pursuit of what they have defined as success.

When we face difficult times, our hearts wish to grieve. With life experiences and wisdom, we come to realize that A) Nothing is constant, B) You will eventually get over it, and that reason will no longer affect you sooner or later, and C) What’s the point of grieving when we come into this world alone and will leave alone? Our material possessions, family, and friends will all have to be left behind when the time comes. These thoughts are often present in our subconscious, yet we struggle to accept or confront them.

Another gray area is our conscience. Stealing is a crime, but if it’s done to feed a hungry child, our hearts soften, and we may justify it. Having a physical affair while in a relationship is deemed cheating, but if you keep the thoughts in mind and do not act upon them or your infidelity is purely emotional, you may not consider it cheating after all. You may condemn a war, but if the war is in retaliation to terrorism against your fellow countrymen, you may accept it. At this point, the line between black and white becomes so blurred that you approach situations conditionally and remain open-minded.

The core function of philosophy is to ask questions and explore different perspectives. Characterized by various schools of thought, there are no definitive right or wrong answers. Similarly, morals and ethics evolve based on societal norms, cultural shifts, and personal experiences. While some find it acceptable to eat certain non-vegetarian foods, it is generally frowned upon to consume a dog. The idea of treating a revered pet as food is horrifying. We often choose to buy pasture-raised eggs and chicken to justify that these birds are raised under better conditions. But can we ever truly know if a living being wants to be raised or caught in the wild to be eaten? I am a non-vegetarian and consider it no less than a sin, yet for someone else, this is simply a way of life, and they will find reasons why they cannot sustain a vegetarian diet. Experiencing love for an animal evokes feelings of guilt in me, while others may find it easy to compartmentalize their emotions.

On a brighter note, as we live our lives and gain experiences, we gradually find our moral compass. We learn to discern right from wrong, accept what we once denied, and uncover the depth in the layers of the concept of Karma, which hopefully becomes our guiding light!