What Do You Pray For?
For most of my life, I’ve been a believer, experiencing moments and periods of doubt along the way. Ultimately, however, my faith has only grown stronger. While I embrace a spiritual and liberal approach to how individuals practice their faith, I have occasionally questioned certain religious practices, viewing them as challenging to world peace. Still, I believe in one God, respect all religions, and appreciate the goodness they bring to the world.
One question that has always lingered in my mind is the concept of selfless love for God. Can one truly pray without asking for anything in return? Being grateful for the good in your life isn’t selfless, and praying for others, as some argue, is not entirely selfless either, since it often brings happiness and good karma (if you believe in that). So, does anyone pray to God selflessly?
When I was younger, my prayers were quite materialistic. I prayed for more money, opportunities to move abroad when I started my career, and, of course, a loving life partner. I thought that moving abroad and earning more money would transform my life, and that finding a good partner would fill the void within me. I even believed that achieving these wishes would make me much happier. Interestingly, those wishes did come true, but they didn’t result in the happiness I had anticipated. I learned that true happiness is more about inner fulfillment. You can be financially secure and still feel unhappy. This shift in perspective marked a significant turning point in my life, much like when someone aspires to make new friends while neglecting the appreciation for their existing relationships, including family. I experienced this myself, and this realization was a game changer for me.
Now, my prayers focus on health, happiness, and safety for myself and my family, regardless of the circumstances. When I would see a beggar, I often wondered what motivated them to persist daily (apart from hunger). I later realized that they could find happiness and a sense of accomplishment in their lives, even with just three meals a day. This is because A) happiness is internal, and B) they may be conditioned to their circumstances, unaware of how different or better life could be unless they’ve experienced it. This led me to understand that once physiological and safety needs, as outlined in Maslow’s hierarchy, are met, happiness largely comes from one’s actions and thoughts. Consequently, I finally surrendered to this idea: “God, grant me happiness, regardless of whether I am rich or poor, for I would rather be poor and happy than rich and sad.” It took time, effort, and experience for me to reach this conclusion.
Returning to the idea of selfless praying, consider this scenario: you have three things you are praying for—one is a personal goal, the second is for the welfare of a loved one, and the third is for people suffering from war in another country. Clearly, the second and third options can be seen as selfless, but how do you prioritize one over the other? On one hand, there’s a loved one who is suffering; on the other, there are thousands, perhaps even more, who are in pain. It’s natural to lean toward helping the vulnerable, but what if the choice lies between a loved one and a stranger? That creates a dilemma, and there may not be a definitive right answer.
Immanuel Kant believed that prayer should stem from an internal desire to please God through action rather than merely reciting traditional prayers. This brings us to the concept of service. I personally believe that serving society or our planet holds greater significance than meditating and praying in isolation. If one can do both, that’s wonderful. But if a choice must be made, service becomes paramount because it embodies positive action rather than just thoughts. Søren Kierkegaard suggested that the purpose of prayer is to change the person praying, rather than to influence God. This resonates with me deeply, as it highlights the notion of self-transformation through prayer. In my yoga practice, I focus on breath and posture, followed by meditation in yoga nidra. There’s a unique high that comes from losing control of your body while maintaining complete control of your mind. I feel ecstatic after a successful class, and this practice is gradually bringing about a shift that resembles the changes prayer can inspire.
Some individuals communicate with God as if He were a close friend, a parent, or even a life partner. Others believe that God resides within. Regardless of individual beliefs, a common thread among all religions is the act of communicating with a higher power and seeking guidance. For me, praying embodies a profound sense of love. When I prioritize my family’s happiness in my prayers, it’s because their sorrow (and my helplessness to alleviate it) would cause me greater sadness than my own struggles.
Lastly, I want to emphasize the powerful concepts of manifestation and the law of attraction. If our thoughts alone can influence our circumstances, imagine the potential impact of praying alongside other believers. Whether you identify as a believer or not, whether you accept destiny or not, and regardless of your religious stance, the essence of what we pray for and think shapes who we are from within. Therefore, it’s essential to choose our thoughts and prayers wisely.
