Why it’s time to start living in a bubble

While growing up, we were constantly told to get out of our bubble. There was a big, bad world outside of our protected and cozy (relatively) life. If I was upset, I would think about the hungry, disabled, helpless people around the world who had “real problems.” On a given day, I would either snap out of it or consider myself doomed and forever depressed.

When I moved to the US, I prided myself on having lived and grown up on the other side. I had experienced the struggles and reality of growing up in a developing country. I had fierce opinions about women’s safety, having experienced the fear firsthand. I would write off small things, considering them to be minor inconveniences, nothing compared to the reality of the middle-class upbringing I had endured.

Then, of course, came reality check after reality check. For the first time in my adult life, I came across something as lethal as the COVID-19 pandemic. So much death, pain, loss. It made me feel like we, as a society, had taken our lives for granted. I felt so divided when I enjoyed a hike in the New England mountains while my family couldn’t get out of their building. While I was grateful that the three families in their building could visit each other initially, that also had to stop. I felt grateful for my privilege. After all, I lived in a suburb to save money and so far away from family. But I felt all the more guilty for not being there with my family when they needed me the most. I felt embarrassed telling myself that I had had a good day.

Then came the Russia-Ukraine war. As if there wasn’t enough depression, with people fighting variant after variant of the virus, losing jobs and businesses, and the trajectories of so many lives forever changed. I came across this dilemma again. Should I be grateful that I have an IT job that can be continued remotely without losing pay or risking my health? Sure! But then, thinking about the disease and that unjust, unfair war kept me depressed at some level. I had stopped watching or reading the news altogether. I just couldn’t take it anymore.

One day, I talked to my then-manager about it. He said something very profound that has stayed with me to this day. He said our grandparents survived multiple wars or revolutions, and a whole lot of that generation didn’t live to see past adulthood. Shouldn’t we be grateful and make the most of this life we have been given? I had never thought of it this way. By being sullen and sorry about the world, was I not being unfair to the blessing I was given?

That’s when I realized that when things get too heavy, it’s okay to start living in a bubble.

With multiple rounds of layoffs, more wars, and protests taking place, for the first time in my life, I wasn’t morally able to pick sides. That left me in a dilemma and reinforced the fact that life is not black or white. There is a whole lot of gray, and parsing through it is only warranted to the extent that one can.

Don’t get me wrong. I do not support turning a blind eye when it’s convenient. No. But if there is a situation you can’t do much about, or can only continue to do as much as you can, choose to stay in your bubble so that you come out hearty and healthy on the other side.

Go on that hike or swim, knowing that suffering around you hasn’t ended. But you are allowed to still enjoy the day, bask in the sunshine, and write your own story of being grateful. And if you need to do this for an extended period of time to keep yourself sane and happy, don’t feel guilty about it.

If you are spiritual, consider these choices God’s gift. If you are a sceptic, accept these privileges for what they are. Whatever philosophy suits you, in the end, either the world has always had its share of troubles, it is getting nastier by the day, or even doomsday is not too far away. Regardless, you can still make the most of today. Nobody can take that choice away from you.

If you cannot side with the usual definition of living in a bubble, make your own definition. Maybe it means creating boundaries to protect your true self or protecting that inner child within you who still dreams and wants to fulfil those dreams.

Let your bubble keep the real you intact.